Friday, March 8, 2013

Prayer

I am so heartbroken but have so much faith at the same time. 

I had some bleeding yesterday, and went to the ER. I did all the usual tests, and was told I was only four weeks pregnant instead of six. Also, they couldn't see the baby on an ultrasound. Because of that they couldn't tell me if I was having a miscarriage or I was just having implantation bleeding. 

I was told to come back if it got worse.
Well, today it did. I was so upset. My eyes were swollen from crying. Reece finally said that we should go back to the ER. So, we did. 

The doctor I had this time was much nicer. She told me not to worry just yet, and she ordered a blood draw for me on Sunday. If my Hgc levels are even just a little bit up, then the baby is okay. 

I realized today, if it isn't "okay", then it's truly in God's hands, and there is not much I can do but trust Him. I am truly being tested in my faith now, and let me just say how emotional it is.

I had a dream last night after asking God for some kind of sign or vision that I will be alright. Alright meaning that I will move on if this doesn't work out, or that the pregnancy will be fine.

Anyway, I had a dream of this little girl with sandy brown hair, my eyes, and Reece's nose telling me that it was going to be okay, and not to worry. 
I believe it will be okay.

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