Friday, August 19, 2016

Two realities

Coming to this space of mine hopefully in a very incognito type way, and to spew out thoughts that possibly but more than likely will come out like word vomit. I have this overwhelming spiritual nausea right now. The kind of feeling where you know something needs to change, yet you feel so alone and scared. That mixed in with anxiety has left me hanging out on the couch till 1AM googling every feeling I am feeling, just searching for someone that has written a blog with big neon letters in the title saying, "ITS OKAY. YOU AREN'T ALONE. LOOK HERE ARE SOME WORDS WRITTEN BELOW THAT YOU CAN RESONATE WITH".

 I feel like I have been hiding who I am or what I want to be for years in fear of judgement. Even after acknowledging the fact that I am hiding I still can not seem to deal with my issues publicly. The idea of exposure leaves me feeling vulnerable like I should be lying on the cold ground in a ball till the wee hours of the morning.

Growing up in the South, the Bible Belt, if you aren't southern baptist, you are wrong. So this leads me to my shame. A sort of artificial, because I was raised that way, shame. (See how I am typing in circles here? It's almost like I can not even write it or say it in fear of someone I know reading this.)

I want to investigate the LDS church.

There.

Where most would say, "what's the big deal? No one cares." I do, because it's an internal struggle with myself. At 24, I want to change my whole way of life and believe in something that to me is like jumping off a tall building. When the idea pops into to my head about how it feels right to me, it's quickly followed by, "but what will they think?" That's honestly one of my only reservations. "What will they think?"
Cue, "will I be what they want now that I believe differently?"

Aka. I am not enough.

Here is where we flip to the other side.

Will I be enough for the new church?
Tattooed, sailor mouth, hardly a virgin before marriage, etc...etc...

Will I ever truly fit in? Can I be this model of who Jesus Christ expects of me? Will I ever be able to fulfill the requirements. I often feel a twinge of judgment and uncomfortableness as I sit in the pew. Like they all know I'm not really this well dressed, gracious woman I often feel like I'm faking. Will this feeling ever go away?

Heavenly Father believes I'm enough, but when will I? When will I accept my shame for what it is, and just do what I feel is right?

I am stuck between two realities.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Meet The Essential

As a LILLEbaby Ambassador, I got to try out this super gorgeous carrier. All the hard work is worth it in this ambassador business;)

So a few months ago I was able to get into an awesome program as an ambassador for LILLEbaby. At first I was just so excited to be a part of these awesome ladies and try out carriers. Little did I know these amazing carrier would become my new obsession. My poor husband is always hearing about the next best carrier that they come out with. Like Pokémon, I've got to catch them all!

Back to the Essential, because that's why we are all here, right? This carrier is a freaking beauty... When I got it out of the box my heart exploded with giddiness, and I immediately sent Reece (Mr.Awesome) a text freaking out. He said "Yay! Now I get to use the black airflow." He gets me.

This carrier is my dream.
So what do I like?

The Bells and Whistles:
-Print. Duh.
-Padding under baby's legs. Pretty cool. I am not sure if the padding is on any of the other carriers because I only have an airflow Lille that is mesh. So, the padding is new to me, and I really appreciate it.
-Big pocket
-Big hood
-Durable (a workhorse)
-100% cotton but not hot at all
- I feel like it fits my short torso better for some reason.
-Low Price point! $89.99

What I miss in this carrier compared to my complete:
-No lumbar support. Honestly though, I think they were trying to keep this carrier at a low price point which is why the lumbar support isn't included. They do sell them separately and your other LILLE lumbar will fit this one. Lumbar is $27 and can be purchased HERE.
-The hood clips on with loops. They are kind of irritating when you are in a rush or when you are standing on a rock with a fishing pole in your hand and trying to hook them. Not a deal breaker for me though :)
-No neck support (I think that's what they are called). I don't mind though because my son always rests on me anyway. He doesn't really like the support snapped up in the airflow.
-4 positions instead of 6. Including no front facing.Again, we only use 2, so it doesn't bother me.
-Lastly, The clips don't have padding under them.

This carrier impressed me for such a low price. It's beautiful a carrier and it will last me a long time. It doesn't have all the bells and whistles of my airflow but I love the sturdiness of it. I'd most likely wear the Essential when I am at the grocery store, fairs, farmers market...etc. Airflows are for hiking;)
My real life picture with the LILLEbaby.
I hope all of you are having an amazing day! I hope to check in more soon. Be on the look out for my Airflow post and my comparison posts of the essential and airflow! If you are interested in buying one of these gorgeous carriers you can buy through the link below (through my affiliated link) or go to directly to LILLEbaby .com

https://lillebaby.com?rfsn=129390.ec454 <------Affiliated link.


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Monday, September 21, 2015

Etsy/Shop Series: Drooly Scrumptious

 
I wanted to take a second and talk about this Etsy shop because I am in LOVE with this scarf. We got this scarf last winter, and yes I am just now getting to write out this post. I can't believe in this photo my boy was about to turn one, and now he is almost two! Holy, time flies! Anyway, this is such a great product... and I am not even being sponsored by this shop. Let's just say, last year this warm and soft scarf was worn by my son on the daily. It's STILL so soft! They come in many different prints and are so durable. Want to know something else super cool? My son can STILL wear it this winter. The length of these scarves are perfect, and make it easy to wear more than just one winter.
 
Go check her out HERE because not only does she have scarves, there are awesome bibs too!
 

Friday, September 18, 2015

Working Hard on Labor Day

I know Labor day was quite awhile ago, but I really want to get these photos up here on little ole' Housel Happenings. So, you have been warned that this will be a photo heavy post, mostly of Jude climbing rocks like a pro.So, what does the Housel Clan do on Labor day? BBQ? nah. We take fishing trips. Fishing trips where you drive about an hour down a really rocky dirt road, and THEN hike down another mile. The views are totally worth it though.



We spent a lot of time just climbing rocks because apparently that is my 18 month old child's new favorite thing to do. He gave me about 80 grey hairs that day. I was thoroughly impressed by his skill though! I really can't wait to see what he does when he is older! I hope you can sense the amount of sarcasm ^

This kid impresses me every day. I was pretty nervous to let him just do his thing without hovering. I was very close by, so I just decided to see what he could do. He was climbing up and down these rocks like a pro! Funny thing is, he didn't get hurt at all when we were out there. Maybe a bruise or two from a tumble he took, but other than that? Nothing! He waited till we got home that night to slip and bang his head on a metal bed frame... Seriously? Anyway, Reece caught a few fish and I even got out on the lake in the pontoon boat.


We had a really good day besides the bumps and bruises. Oh and the sunburn... Totally worth it though.
 


Friday, September 11, 2015

New Beginnings

Where did I leave off... Oh right, Jude's first birthday which was almost a year ago. Seriously? Who knew I could take such a long blogging hiatus. We were vlogging for almost that entire time, until we moved to our new home. Here we don't have internet unless we use our hotspot. Hotspots alone were not enough to upload long daily vlogs. So here I am again, blogging. I actually missed this community which is why I gave my blog a face lift (when am I not giving my blog a face lift?).

So, I think I will be back here for good mostly because I need a space for my thoughts, and a place to record our memories. Also, I tend to stick to pictures nowadays instead of videos because HELLO I am the mother to a crazy WALKING toddler. A boy toddler to make things worse. I can't complain though, because he helps me shed the pounds.

Wait... what was that? You wanted an update on our lives? Well if you insist!

As I mentioned before, we moved to California mostly to be closer to family. It has been a life saver for us to have so much family and friends. Not only for rides, babysitting, but we also get to enjoy more hiking and fishing with them too!


We do a lot of this kind of stuff all the time too. Other than that, Reece still works the same job. 2 years! That's some commitment! I recently started nursing school. The Certified Nursing Assistant course if you want to get technical, but this is the first class of many. I have lot of anxiety over it all, and I just can't believe that I am actually going to school. Like Reece always says though, I am like a blood hound after something I want. I believe that's probably pretty accurate.
Other than that, we are just trying to really live out our lives. One adventure after the next. I am glad to be back. Hopefully this post finds you in good spirits!
 


Tuesday, March 24, 2015

#NYCBigBold


Its been awhile since I received a Vox Box, and so when I got the email that I was in for this box, I was freaking excited. One because, well... Free stuff. Two, because I REALLY needed some new mascara. I also have been on the hunt for a eye liner pen like the Big, bold, and Precise. There is nothing I hate more than searching for a holy grail product, because you waste so much money in the process! Insert awesome #NYCBigBold Vox Box.

 
Honestly, these two products are my holy grail of mascara and top eyeliner. There is a bit of a learning curve with both. The mascara puts A LOT of product on the brush when you pull out the wand, but I learned that if I scrape off all the excess and put it on, it gives me the perfect look.  I absolutely love the mascara, and to me it has great packaging. Now, for the eyeliner, OH... my...goodness. This stuff is the best. It goes on perfectly. I haven't mastered the winged look yet, but I am pretty sure I can with this bad boy. When this stuff goes on, It goes on smooth. Its not too liquid, and it stays on all day long. I am pretty impressed! I will definitely be buying this two products on the regular.

 
"I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes."

Jude's new room!

Hey there! It has been awhile! I am just popping in to do a little update, and to show y'all Jude's new room. He's not quite ready for a big boy room, but we were able to make his nursery exactly how we wanted it this time since we moved into the new house. That's right! A new house! We moved out to California to be closer to family. Reece is still working in Reno and commuting, but we decided it was best to be in California, so that I would have help with Jude when I go back to school. Life is pretty busy since we have moved here, and we definitely have become more social with dinners, game nights, and just general hanging out with close friends and family. We love it! I will do a house tour one of these days, but for now check out Jude's new room! Can't believe we will probably re-do this room in a year or so for his big boy room. When did my baby become almost a year and a half??
 
 


(Snow globes and fox from his first birthday. We need to get a little shelf for them. For now they sit in the window)