Monday, May 13, 2013

Anger blinds forgiveness.

What do you do when your best friend is the one that hurt you? What do you do when all you want to do is forgive them, but your anger is blinding you? Do you let go? I hate being lied to, and I've never been lied to like this.

All of this stuff was revealed. Literally ripped open and shoved in my face. I knew, but I didn't want to believe it. I confronted her multiple times, and I was lied to straight to my face multiple times. Do I let myself just be angry and let her know? Or do I hold back my feelings, since they ARE fleeting, and try and see if this passes? I don't even know how to feel. I don't know if I'm sad, mad, nothing.. I don't know. That in itself is scary.

I scare myself because in my mind I am thinking, "No, you aren't allowed to say that you are a horrible person, or that you will "let me go" because you love me." No, if I'm going to go, it's because I let YOU go. You did this. Feelings can be controlled.  I can picture you reading this thinking to yourself how horrible of a person you are, but that too is bull. You aren't allowed to pity yourself for this. YOU could of stopped this, but you followed temptation rather than run from it. Again, don't you dare start pitying yourself. That just makes it worse.

I literally just cannot handle today.
I am sorry for this weird scattered post.



 I need to get over this. I need to not be mad. I just don't know how. Is this really going to end our friendship? I need prayer..

2 comments:

  1. I'm praying, Haley. I do know someone who has been lied to by a friend several times and they have remained friends because she decided to accept her for who she was and be her friend any way. Maybe this person needs you to be her friend.

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  2. Betrayal is a bitter pill. But if you drink and immerse yourself in the living waters of God's words. You'll find comfort there. He wil bestow with the gift of forgiveness when the time is right.
    Love,
    Mom

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