I miss you.

Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...) 

I kind of just want to skip over Day 11 and 12. Mostly, yesterday I was out and about with my husband all day and didn't have time to post, and well today.. I have something weighing heavy on my heart. I guess, what is on my heart has a little to do with the topic as well.

What do I miss? I miss... ugh, here we go, I am just going to say it, I miss my baby. Yes, MY baby. I don't care how many weeks it was, I was still am attached. Maybe, I need to get over it. Today is the day where people celebrate their mom's, and get to celebrate being a mom. I feel so selfish because all I can think about is, if I hadn't of lost "her",(I really felt like it was a her, because I had this crazy dream about her) I'd be celebrating.. I'd be happy today. I want to not be selfish... I want to just be over it, and not want to cry when I look up at the stars at night. Another crazy dream my friend had. She is my star, "that was too bright for this world", and I miss her so much. Especially today. Does it still count? Is it still mother's day for me? Am I still a mother?..

I know they say time heals all, but I've obviously not had enough time yet.