I hate being nostalgic and sentimental. I look back on things like they aren't over with yet. I am stuck in this weird and miserable limbo because I keep choosing to think that I am not over it, that I have not moved on.
In reality, here I am, in California, married. I have some sort of grasp on my life. Where I want to go, the person I want to be, yet I am being bogged down by the past. By these people that no longer want anything to do with me, but I wasn't the one that ruined the friendship. I still can't seem to get out of it though.
How do I get out of this?
How can I stand back and look at my life and realize exactly how beautiful it is? That my life isn't this blob of turmoil?
I have so many things that should be more important than all of this. My husband, my home, and I should be out there exploring this amazing place that I live in. Instead, I am wallowing around in this nasty and miserable place.
Sometimes, you just have to learn to let go and forget it. All of it. Even the things that remind you of the miserable place.
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