The other day at the park I heard a little boy tell another little boy that he sucked. In that moment my heart just broke, and I realized that that little boy learned that word from somewhere. That led me to realize, I am going to be a mother. I am going to be my little boy's influence. It seems weird that this realization just hit me because I've had a few months to prepare for it. I am going to be the person Jude looks up to teach him right from wrong, what words to say, how to act, etc.
Which can I say is super frightening to think about? That leads me down the rabbit hole thinking about "Holy cow, someone is going to be calling me mommy soon." How I always thought that I might become a mom, and now I am here about to become one. Am I ready for it? Will I actually be a good mother like every one keeps reassuring me that I will be?
Those are the questions I ask all the time, and then I get this very reassuring small voice telling me I will be okay.
As long as you are being lead by the father you will be an awesome Mother. God will show you how to be the best momma to Jude that you can be.
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