Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Sweetly Broken

The past few weeks, maybe two months actually, I have been going through this season. It was a season of doubt and not wanting to believe in God. I am not sure why.. I saw so many flaws in The Church, not the building. The people. I was tired of hearing, 
"Just pray about it"
"God is always there"
"Go to Him. Lay your burdens down"

Because honestly, I didn't know how to "lay my burdens down." I felt like all those statements were blanket statements for people to get out of really helping and answering your problems. Because we are all HUMAN, and have no idea how to answer those problems. The thing is, I guess, is that I wasn't really looking for an answer at all. So the statements above really just wore on me. 

So, I stopped believing. Well, I knew He was real, but I was trying to force myself to not believe. I didn't want to face my problems, and believing is hard. Believing means you have to be perfect. 

and I'm not.

In the last two days, I have realized, I am perfect to Him. I don't need to be a certain person to make Him proud. I am His daughter. He will always love me. He will love me when I am not doing a thing. I've also realized, I am right where He wants me. No matter how bad I want to be somewhere else.  Right here. Right now. I will live for now, and for Him.

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