Thursday, August 15, 2013

Not alone?

my peace.

So, I really like to keep it real on here, and so that it is exactly what I am about to do.

Is there any other pregnant ladies or mommies that feel completely unprepared? I have wanted to be a mommy for as long as I can remember. That was always my dream. To have a cute little house that was just big enough for my family, fill it with little touches and memories. To have children, and just in general, I wanted to take care of people. Here I am now, on my way to having that dream come true, and I suddenly feel so scared. That I am going to suck.

I feel way too selfish for this job.
Will I wake when the baby wakes? Will I get up automatically? Will I be horrible and make everything revolve around my schedule?

I feel like I don't know how to love as much I will need to.
Will I feel that same connection?

Where these fears stemmed from, I am not sure besides maybe my spiritual journey that I have been on lately. I have been really struggling with the balance between my constant sin and the Grace I have been given. Some days I just feel completely in the pits because I feel like I can never please God. Which leaks into my thoughts about being a mother and wife.

  I just need to know I am not alone in these thoughts.

4 comments:

  1. Haley, your a love. All mommies have those fears even if the only thing you've ever wanted is to be a mommie. We all do the best we can and I know you'll be fine. When you look into those little eyes.... it will be perfect. Besides you have a lot of Mommie Support, with extra Grandma love! XOXO Mom2

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  2. I feel exactly the same way, Haley! My husband and I are getting ready to have kids soon and I just feel like, "I am too selfish to be a mom! I'm not mature enough! What if I don't like it? What if I am a bad mom?" It's scary but I know it's something I want for my life so it's tricky. I hope you feel better about this soon, I'm sure all moms have these kinds of feelings. xox

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  3. totally not alone! i couldn't have wanted this baby any more and there are some days I feel so overwhelmed and not prepared. but others I feel like I have what I need and am doing a good job. I think it's completely normal to feel both! and you will be able to do exactly what your sweet baby needs!

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  4. I'm not even pregnant yet and I have those thoughts. I think it's totally normal. God will not give you the job without equipping you for it. You are going to be wonderful at it....those instincts will kick in as soon as you hold that baby in your arms.

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